My friends are so cool!

break ups aren't fun...

simply miserable

hi

last night was very very interesting....


lol i love you

I remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
No I don't wanna
But I gotta let you go

idk what to do with u...ur confusing. but i cant help but like u. i cant figure u out. ahh so many ppl depressed last nite.

my family is falling apart. my grandmother is in the hospital. she had lack of oxygen to her brain so we think she's losing it. she starts talking about wierd things that arent rly happening. she said she was home but she is rly in the hospital. its rly scaring me. i hope to God she comes back. my mom is rly upset. we're happy she alive, she could have died but now she's out of it. i saw my aunt that i havent talked to in like 2 yrs or something on saturday. it was at the girl scout garage sale. first i saw my uncle and i stared him down to see if he would look at me and reconize me. he never looked at me. he just walked away. that rly hurt. then i saw my aunt. she was walking up to the driveway and i ran and hid behind kristin. i didnt want to see her, but i did at the same time. she rly hurt my mom and theyre fighting over something that they dont even remember what it was. so i stood up and she was looking around and she passed right by me. i guess im a softy cuzi started to cry. thank God for kristin and she came and hugged me. i never rly cry in public and i felt bad that i was but it kinda just happened. everyone was looking at me (well it felt like it) thanks to God she is an art teacher and she spotted some drawing books that were for sale and she picked them up. i was by the register and she looked twice at me. shes like merissa? i went up to her (still crying) and gave her a big hug. she started to cry even tho she was mean to my mom i still loved her. she was my favorite aunt and her daughter (my cousing) was my favorite cousin. i rly dont have any family on my father's side so my aunt, uncle and cousin were all i had and they were gone. it just felt so good to talk to her. everything from my grandma and my aunt have been so hard on me. i hope jamie's grandpa is alright i no what shes going through. i love ya jamie. it rly makes u think about how precious life rly is.

well work and school are keeping me pretty busy. i really have no time to do anything so i cant wait till the summer. i have all night shifts this week ugh im going to die of lack of sleep lol. i like working its just blahh. i just want school to be over already its just getting old. i hate this bs im getting from ppl. i mean like stupid stuff that im fed up with dealing with and i cant handle it. i wish ppl were truthful and could be trusted but thats not how the world works today. i hate having feelings for someone and they wont tell u who they like. i hate being in that position. i dont even care if its me anymore. i would be upset but then i would no ur feelings. i dont no what to do i hate waiting for someone. i hate guys. they cause all the problems. blahh

last nite was soo much funn!! kelseys and kelleys surprise party. hahaha we were singing all the old tunes like nsync and brittney spears and all that. we attempted to watch wedding crashers but then we had to go eat cake hahah. im missing like everything cuz im busy. i cant even got to saras party and im sooo mad. im missing lauren sweet sixteen tonight but that ok i guess with me. i wish things werent so confusing and i no i say this everythim i update but life is so confusing. alright this update was rly boring.

ill update about my weekend. saturday went to the hockey game with megan, kath, and kristin. it was soo much fun. taht was actually my first hocky game. i think kristin's going tonite i wish i could go but i have girl scouts. last nite was amazing. went to the casting crowns concert yea i wore my t-shirt today. but it was truely amazing. well i hope this week wont be too bad this weekend im going to the shore as of now. no gym for 2 weeks? haha yey for testing. ugh o yea got an "O" for history on progress report and history is my worst subject. it was rly wierd and im not even doing good in that class. hah o well. bye for now

havent updated in awhile thought i should have. lets see things are going pretty smoothly in my life. in some cases a bit wierd but nice feeling. idk if ur gonna read this but it makes me sad u feel this way but im happy u told me the truth. and to another person im sooooo glad ur changing ur ways. u ppl make me so happy. my solo went awesome, i mean awesome today. usually i would have to do it like 9 times but this was only once and it was awesome! i have a busy weekend and a concert on sunday. yea! everyones going on the retreat this weekend. mines the last week of march and the second week in april (if u wanted to no) my family is soo wierd but i wont get into that. well things are going swell and i hope things get better.

happy valentines day peeps!!!

this one is just for jamie hehe since it seems like shes the only lone that acutually uses this thing. not rly anything exciting. just something is concerning me. im sooo bored and i wish i was doing better in school =/ i have a solo in band and i was sooo nervous. thankfully we didnt get to it but now i no how kath felt. ahhh i dont no what to do.

started driving today!!! yeaaaaaaa

im home... im not supposed to be home. who wants to hear about a horrible day in paradise?? anyone? any takers? haha ill just tell u anyways. well it all started when i woke up at 7. it was goin fine everyone was spazzing like always when we go on a trip but anyways...we were in the car about 2 hrs and we were getting close to the delaware bridge. my mom had to go to the little girls room. after everyone went to the bathroom my dad started the car and put it in reverse. isnt a car supposed to move when put in reverse and some pressure to the gas? the car didnt move. it was funny but scary at the same time. it was funny cuz if u new my family we have very bad luck. so my mom got into the drivers seat and my dad pushed us out of the parking space. then we proceeded on the highway and realized the car didnt change gears so we were in 1st gear on the highway (if u didnt no thats rly bad) so we got off the high way and turned around cuz my dad was fed up and wanted to go home but my mom said pull over. so we pulled over and my mom called for a tow truck. so we had to get off the highway again cuz we went back on it and had to get off another exit to wait for the tow truck. the towwer came 20 mins later and there was this black guy who was looking at my family strange. anyways he hooked up our car whcih took a long time and we got in the truck. then we were hoping we could get home in 100 miles cuz triple A gives us 100 free miles for a tow. we got home with 121 miles so we had to pay for that. we got towed to crestmont the car's dealership and the dude that sold my mom the car was there. he wasnt supposed to be cuz it was his vacation but he had to feed his fish. so my mom didnt want the car anymore cuz this was the 2nd time the transition blew and the brakes failed once. so now we want to go tm. we just need 2 more seats on the train and then we can go with the van. o man waht a long day. so merry christmas eve and i hope urs is better than mine. love u all.

tomorrow is my birthday!! yea i havent updated in a rly rly long time. on saturday im goin to florida and its goin to be rly bad cuz we need to drive to virginia in our small car. so 5 ppl in a 5 person car im goin to be swished. i have my portable dvd player and ipod so im good to go. im goin to wear the totally awesome outfit i got from jack, kels, val, and sara thanks a bunch.im excited. tm. having a xmas party for fam. so getting some more presents yey. so if u wanna come to florida with me, i can put u in my suit case. hahah it will be unconfortable. i love you all and i wont be back till the 3rd so wish me luck and comment if u want!

I GET MY PERMIT IN 1 MONTH!
o yea im having my sweet sixteen i have no idea when and what we're goin to do yet but ur all invited! <3

would u mind commenting cuz i feel like i have no friends that comment this or myspace....so if ur kool then comment pleaz. love ya all!

jamie colored on my shoes she didnt ruin them i like it. its a jamie orginal =) had sara and kristin over today to watch house of wax. haha rated R. scary and sick! i had fun and i hope they did. went to chruch and did nothing. 2 and a half week this week im soo happy. 3 tests on tuesday so im goin to be busy studying and on weds. goin to my bros school (that should be interesting esspecially we have to play our band music hahah) welp see ya larer

had a sleepover last nite sry for the ppl that werent invited i was very limited. had a good time. we watched sisterhood. i had lots of cleaning after taht and my mom yelled at me for something she did. i hate when ppl leave the door open taht lead downstairs and i no it sounds nasty but then my dogs go in my room and eat cat poop. sometimes cat poop laying on my room floor then i have to pick it up. so then i yelled at my mom cuz someone left the door open again. and the dogs went down in my room and i said if theres poop on the floor the person who left the door open has to clean it up cuz im fed up. so she yelled at me and said i cant have friends over for a month. o well she will get over it. ahhhhh o yea then i had to rake up stupid leaves. if u wanna come to my bros soccer game ur welcome to cuz its goin to be boring by myself. its at the highschool at 8:15. if ur bored u might want to its better than staying at home...i guess.

will u tell all your friends u got ur gun to my head?

things are kinda messed up now. very confused but mixed feelings. dont no waht to do. life is hard, everyone nos that.